More pics if You didn't know to click on the link.

I teared up..

Mr and Mrs Noah Desmit


I guess it was hard not to get choked up when I saw my baby sister in her white wedding dress. I remember us growing up, which seems like a eternity ago. I believe that if we surround ourselves with good people good things happen and Noah is definitely good people. How he's able to deal with Alex is probably the most impressive thing, she's a firecracker, she's been a firecracker since the first time I laid eyes on her at Grandma's house and they said this is your little sister{ she smelled funny :) } ... I have to be honest that I was disappointed that she was a girl because I wanted a brother. I got over it and I'm soo thankful to God that he gave me a sister like her and A mom like mine, and a family like the one I have.



Was I a little sad that I got beat to the alter, yeah ..but not because I wasn't first..it has more to do with everything that you spend, the things you sacrifice and I never felt that Holly was willing to sacrifice anything for me. The more and more I realize it and dissolve this I'm seeing how selfish she was. Everything was about her, from moving here and moving away and not coming back, me moving up there wasn't about us it was more about her. Was I selfish too, heck yeah but I was willing to sacrifice, I was willing to give up everything but what was she willing to sacrifice?

Its interesting how weddings make you take stock of your relationships, present and past. I thought as I waited for my sister to walk down the aisle, if I would of asked earlier would it have been different? I don't think it would of, me asking a month earlier a week earlier wouldn't have made her be any different. It wasn't the relationship that was the problem but the mere fact that she doesn't know who she is...

... "better now than later" that is the common thing that I've kept on hearing I ... I just wished you would of worked on you, because there is something missing in you, you were right about that but what are you doing about it?

You probably did me a favor and saved me a world of heartache, In the end I guess you underestimated how much I loved you and I over estimated how much you love me...

High Fidelity..

So I made the fatal mistake of watching High Fidelity lastnight, Its a movie that deals with John Cusack and this Finnish looking gal and their break up. Apparently I have forgotten that not only is this movie really funny but its also has a lot of elements that hit home. The part where he's lying in bed and he can't sleep because his mind is racing...needless to say I had to turn it off.

Hmm, I think I could do a Top 5 of my memorable break up..
5. Kelly circa 7th grade-It was my first break up and I thought as any dumb kid that we'd be together forever.
4.Lisa circa 1st yr at AU- This was the first time I broke up with a girl, I hated it, I felt soo horrible, I actually broke up with her twice..I hated seeing her cry.
3.Michele-circa 2001- Fell for this cute east coast west coast gal...but we were too different at the end, hurt like hell and I went on a destructive path of careless behavior..but at least she was honest.
2.Holly circa 2002- I was in no way looking for a girlfriend but this beautiful blonde stole my heart, as hard as I tried not to fall she made it harder not to fall in love. She broke my heart like no other. I had to move and start a new life...
which leads me to number 1, yeah she makes an appearance again..
1. Holly circa 2004-2008..I left her behind or so I thought and then I get this call..She shook me up and by the middle of 2005 we were back..things were going great and then she left and went back home, didn't come back and we stayed together, perhaps it was mistake but if a girl like her can make me move she could certainly make me try to work out a long distance relationship.. the result at the end lead to most of the past 3 months worth of blog entries. If I thought she broke my heart before I had no clue of what was in store for the encore....

That is my top 5....

People notice

I thought no one would notice..seeing how I'm the one who's always noticing..Its spilling over at work. My boss just asked me if I was ok! She said that I'm quieter than normal... ugh..

I've been listening to some mellow music lately to see if I can calm my demons if you will..Joshua Radin, Ray LaMontagne, Jack Savoretti, Jesse McCarthy, oops did I say Jesse McCarthy! ha ha ok I like that song he's got right now, I'm a sucker for pop music!

You know how many loves songs there are out there? Alot, and I like alot of them..love songs are no fun when you're heart is mangled. Its interesting when I found a lot of my old poems when I was at home..they dealt with a lot of heartache, want, disappointment... I don't know if I'm attracted to women that haven't found out who they are or I'm just too accepting.

When it comes to love I don't think I have much common sense ..I give and give but I forget to ask back.

Here's a song I've been hearing alot in my ipod.. Amos Lee
Better Days:

The darkness has always been,
The world was born into a blanket of sin,
When all the faith's been gone,
Still we found a reason to carry on,
Through the worry, worry, worry,
Caught in an endless maze
Oh when the lights go out,
All i can think about,
Is how, we've seen better days...
Oh lover lately i've been thinkin i might leave you,
As you're surrounded by these fools who do deceive you,
Yes our past is wretched true,
But i'm still in love with you,
That's why i am still refusin to give in to
All this worry, worry, worry
Caught in an endless maze,
But when the lights go out,
All i can think about,
Is how, we've seen better days
Where do we go from here,
While we're all so consumed by fear,
Why im trying not to be suspicious of those im suspicious of,
I'm tryin to crack open this angry heart and find a little love,
Still i worry, worry, worry,
Caught in an endless maze,
Still when the lights go out,
All that i can think about is how we've seen better days,
Oh when the lights go out,
All i can dream about,
Is how, we've seen better days...
listen here

I apparently have lost the taste for watching sports?

I feel a bit anxious sitting in a place where I'm suppose to be watching something instead of talking. The act of conversation is something that is really appealing to me. I like talking to people, I feel like I can talk to anyone, well almost anyone. I went to a therapist this past week and to be honest with you I don't like it, I don't like how the act of it has really become a commodity. A stranger basically told me that there was a treatment plan that she hoped to develop for me? What? Seriously I don't think I'm capable of following something like that because I don't follow others, I walk to my own beat, I go against grain.

It sucks, I'm my worst enemy right now. I know it, I feel it, but its how it is. I know there are parallels that people can draw from to relate to me. Its just whether I can do it, it whether I want to do it. I don't like pain and this fucking awkwardness that I feel right now, the loneliness is just eating at me. The questions about why I'm not married or whatever you wanna call it...I hate it, I hate that I have to explain that its not by my damn choice that I'm not married, that i don't have someone to go home to. I invested in myself as much as humanly possible and then they quickly say "aw, it wasn't meant to be, you'll find someone..." Yeah I know.........you'll know when..damn it I knew, I knew..

From the moment that I left
Everything had changed
Now I lay awake in my empty room
In my head it all feels the same

Like the taste of the day I left
That still lingers on my breath
And the dampness of tears that left
A stain where I had wept

All alone with a diamond ring
That still sits next to my bed
I keep meaning to toss it away
But I just leave it there instead

No need to cry about it
I'll move on without it
Every time I wind up out your door

Why do you do this to me?
You cut right through me
Every time I wind up out your door

It was 1 more day 'til I saw your face
so nervous, so anxious, couldn't keep up the pace
cleaned the house and made up the bed
Dialed your number but all got was a busy tone instead.

Never took you for granted
You’re were my reason for living
there’s no way I was giving up,

Didn't think I would cry about it
I'll move on without you
Seems like every time I wind up out your door.

How did you do this to me?
You fucking lied to me
Every time I wind up back on the floor.

Now every night is a bitter fight
And I’m eating home alone on a Thursday night
I wasted my good love and time
I will never let you conquer my mind

I won't cry about it
I'll be better without it
In time you'll start to regret it
and when you call you'll hear me say "learn how to live with it"

You'll stroll around and smile like nothing is wrong
You'll lie to those who love you
But the lies you tell will catch up to you, it won't be long
You can makes excuses but it wasn't me this was all you.

I'm gonna live my life, won't let another barley slip through my fingers
I hope you enjoy yours, lesson plans, one night stands, new friends, pot and beer cans.

Life is a bitch and apparently I loved one too!

Trippin over trips

I had a great time seeing my family this weekend, it was much needed and long over due.

I can't tell you how excited and curious I was when I arrived in Grand Rapids Thursday night..4 yrs is a long time to be away. Friday morning I just drove around, I went to my old Academy and was surprised by the changes, I went by old coffee shops I use to go to write my sappy poems, I visited my high school and was asked If I need a attendance pass like I still went to school there? That was actually sorta of funny..

Alex found me at Barnes & Noble and we hung out till Mom got out of work. It was really sneaky of us, Alex picked her up from work and I followed incognito in my rental. A couple of times I thought that she had seen me. So anyways we get to the restaurant and Alex and Mom go inside...I tried calling her to wish her happy birthday ( which was a day later and not on Friday like I thought! oops) anyways I got right next to her and I said something like hey stranger or something totally awesome. She was really happy to see me..it was really nice to know that I made her day by just coming up to see her. So I just hung out with my ladies this weekend, mom found some old pics and poems..stuff from like the summer of 04..which I probably should of kept but it was hard to read them...I feel it now but 10 times more than back then. I guess I thought I could fly to places and just have this be something I left behind me, on the way home.. I realized that its still on the surface, very real and very strong. I got one more trip planned..in two week back to Michigan for Alex's wedding, that will be very hard on me for many reasons...

anyways..

Colliding with the past when you're trying to live in the now can be a tricky thing.

I took this picture of me yesterday...what I find interesting is that I was trying to smile..I think I took the picture like 3 times until I finally said screw it..

The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and all time. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't really get it? What are you exactly are you trying to say? I mean to be honest sometimes I like Chinese fortune cookies better. I carry this one in my wallet..I got it while I was eating at Pei Wei like a month ago..

" A lifetime of happiness lies ahead of you." Author Charlie the chimp..

but nonetheless I like it, I get it, and I'm looking forward to it..

Ah...Que Vida!

Who wants a bread maker?

I'm selling a bread maker for pretty cheap..its been used twice..? if you're interested leave a comment or email me..

short lived beard

Since the cubs got swept from the playoff's I guess it would be kind of ridiculous to still sport the rally beard.

Anyways....

Its been a very hard couple of months for me, I've never been under as much stress as I have this summer. The holidays aren't going to be easier but just a brutal reminder. Having to tell myself to let go and actually telling her has been overwhelming. I know that I'm not ready but I know that I'd never be ready, my mental health is falling apart... I'm tired of feeling sad and I'm tired of thinking about how everything went to shit.
I know I should be mad, that I should have a ton of anger inside of me and I do fight the urge to punch a hole in the wall but more than that I just feel incredibly sad. That sadness is killing me, I can't lie to myself...its really hard to think about anything else. I've been keeping myself busy but come on, this is bigger than just a little break up..I lost more than just girlfriend, she was my best friend, my family, and I can't help but hurt. It hit me Sunday that I had to let go, that I can't try to be there for her or be the same person with her anymore because I'm going to lose myself if I keep on doing that.

normalcy..that's the state of being normal or regular.

how can anything be normal or regular after this?

what a waste...

4 dudes and a microphone..

I can't say that I share the mic all that much maybe its the enamorous need to be the center of attention..I kid, I actually shy away from that type attention. Heck I still don't know what to do when someone pays me a compliment on my insatiable taste for shoes, or my growing collection of hats (that I'm now straying away from ball caps and venturing into the more grown up cabby hats).

Also I decided to grow a beard for the baseball playoff run...if the cubs don't win the world series I guess I'll be wearing a beard for a while..or till my job says to shave.

Anyways this is a blah post and I'm sorta of not in the mood to write anymore..

Being heard

Jared made a good point this past weekend.
" How is that I find women that take everything from me and then leave me with nothing?"
I don't know how to love any other way, I took a big big risk by letting Holly back into my life 2 1/2 yrs ago, ignoring the advice of many of my friends but I did it because I loved her soo much that I would take that chance, that I would gamble my heart again. When we were together it was great, it was right...

I could of been just a whatever kind of guy and not really gave it my all when it was hard but the way my heart pounds when I see her and how my skin tingles when she touches me. Why wouldn't I give my all, if you risk everything you can lose everything but you can also win everything. I wasn't scared of not asking her to marry me, I was scared of not asking her to marry me. No one can say that I didn't give it my all, that I didn't do everything I could do. I wouldn't do any other way even now when I can't tell which way is up.

Perhaps in the last post I was too harsh in that I wish I never met her, I don't mean any of that...
This has been the big disappointment of my life because she is the love of my life. The scope of my pain is the measurement of how much she meant to me.

I just need to remember that It wasn't just up to me..you can't give your life to someone that doesn't know what they want.

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh,
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my Baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
After You
Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhh

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

You are so beautiful to me
~ The fray

Sitting here

I don't know where to turn or where to go, I'm living in a nightmare, I just don't know when I get to wake up so It can end.

The disappointment I have in my heart is soo heavy that I feel like I'm climbing 6 feet out of the ground because I feel like a piece of me died.

We, I say we because I know she's felt this way too; we've struggled and have been frustrated and tired. All I want to do is be with her, I just want to be with her. Nothing else matters, we've let so much time past I've been ready for it for some time now. I put everything on the line this past weekend..I took a trip with no certain outcome...what do you when you love someone, you fight for them..I'm strong but I don't know how many times I can get up after taking blow after blow.. Leaving her has never been soooo hard, I contemplating just staying, just never coming back..I love my friends but they're not my life,they'll be my friends till I die but I'm talking about the love of my life,the woman I want to grow old with, have kids with...how can I just let it slip away, my whole heart is with her. She's my family, she my lady, she's my best friend. Yes I'm mad and yes I'm frustrated but most of all I'm just sad...I'm just sad. I don't want to feel like this anymore..seeing her was wonderful but having her right in front of me and then having too leave, there's no words to describe it..

I think regardless of what happens I'm leaving the States, for as much as it gives its also taken from me...

My stache

I tried to make fun of myself by well growing a mustache..I'm very capable of doing this because I have to shave right after I shave...so anyways I attempted to make the stache stick..this is me friday afternoon...I went out looking like this.....it lasted one night. I woke up and the thing was changing my personality. I was having cravings for denim shorts, trucker hats, and need to drink milk...odd, I know.

Heard your voice the other day

worked hard to choke away the tears..

There I listen in the stillness of my gray sky

Thinking there's nothing here to hold me now

tried to let go and all that came were tears.

Could you grant me a wish, just one wish, just one more kiss

kiss me, let me hold you till the nightlight meets day

Is there a way to play make believe

I know, there ain't nothing I can do but I'll play the fool

dream on with me like I do with you.

the night is closing in

Baby just love me all the way this time
Whisper truth, tell me sweet things

forget the troubles, I know who you are,

I understand

Even though we're covered in veils of mystery,

your lips erase my misery.
In you I've found my treasure

Filled my head full of pefect dreams

Can't you see,I'm putting down all my walls,

just take me, take all of me.

the night is here
Baby lets go all the way this time

Won't you love me all the way this time

Heard your voice the other day

choked on my tears

As I sat still under the dark gray sky.

Pain shoots through my hands
These long lonely nights
Are making me crazy
Morning won't come fast enough
Just a face in the Crowd as I let them pass me by

Faith gone from your eyes
Each word leaves as fast as it came
You're leaving me further away
so when that day comes
I've got no easy way to cry

As I think of you leave
I'm trapped inside, glued to my chair.
everywhere I go I find you
everything connects you to my mind
How right it all should be.

I expected something more, I wanted soo much more.
every time I got close I was left so far, so far behind.
If that's what this is about, this thing that we're in
then I'm ready, I'm willing, I'm for your war.

If you expect that I'll wither away like flowers on your wall
then perhaps you should rethink you're approach, I'm not leaving and I'm not going to fall.
I'm pushing away thoughts and fighting back tears
because I'm soo close to losing everything that we've gained in the past few years.

For as far as you might be, the distance, the time, I can feel you in my heart, you reside there
You've never left,
when I sleep, I sleep thinking of you,
when I dream, I dream of about being with you.

I wanna be next to you.
I need to be next to you.

Sitting on the bed enduring your punch

can’t pay attention to the sound of anyone

a little more numb, a little more scared

every minute more unprepared

I felt my heart break today

everything I loved got swept in tears

I want to start over, I want to be winning, smiling, being next to you

I'm way out of sync from the beginning, way to far from where we began.

I wanna hurry home to you

put my arms around you, be slow, do a show for you

and crack you up

Looking for somewhere to stand and stay

I leaned on the wall and the wall leaned away

Can I get a minute of not being nervous

and not thinking of being sick

My legs are heavy, my legs are pins

I liked to be honest, I'm losing my shit, I wish I was better but I can't help but feel it

I wanna hurry home to you, put my arms around you,

be slow, do a show for you

and crack you up

You know I dreamed about you

for twenty-nine years before I saw you

You know I dreamed about you

I missed you for twenty-nine years

You know I dreamed about you

for twenty-nine years before I saw you

You know I dreamed about you

I missed you for twenty-nine years

Big day for phone lovers around the world

So if you were hmmm, lucky enough to stand in line to pick up the new 3G Iphone today well I applaud you for taking that dive into technology heaven. Apparently you'll be able to control your Itunes on your computer from your phone like a remote control..here a link to the demo.
this is what happens when you trying leaving Verizon

sorry thats the wrong clip, this is the one I think you should check out

remote

So yeah after seeing that and all the hoopla I'm a bit on edge, I really need my Iphone Fix, so if anyone wants to sell me their old Iphones, yeah..I'm up for it..

I passed a cell phone store this morning on the way to work but no one was waiting outside for the Iphone there, I don't know maybe it was the sign that turned them off, ha ha..get it..have a great weekend.

Doodle of words..

How do you say goodbye to someone you can't imagine living without...
when words won't suffice to express how your life will be a void..
Oh to save our time together, I'd place it in a time capsule for others to find
so that people could know what It means to be in love.

Once, I thought I was great..No thing, no one could bind me
but then you came along and my sun rised and set with you.
My armor melted down and your lovely grace left me standing in place.
I thought I was living but I'd been sleepin until you.

How do you say goodbye to someone you can't imagine living without?
I would miss your face, the smell of your skin and the sound of your dear voice.
You terrorized me with your perfect lips, from them I heard love and lust
from them i ate love and from this they feed off this mess.

Even now, as I sit here drenched in the summer rain waiting for you I can't walk away..
you were the longest journey I've had but its been worth it if you're waiting at the end.

Sometimes timing has everything to do with it.

I don't know what it is about taking pictures of things that don't really fit or that some how are out of place. This was taken outside of a Firstwatch, I love Firstwatch and apparently so does this small patron that was coming in for his usual, the Floridian French Toast, he was told to make sure to pay his tab before he left. He responded by saying " Just put it on my Bill"

:)

HA, HA..yeah I know its corny...

Its just a name!

So a few of us ( Me,Bakes, Tical, and Justin) went to Vampire Weekend. There was a ticket available for this activity but every time they asked for the name of the concert they made this weird face like" Gross, how you could go to a vampire weekend!?"

Yeah, you all missed out, Erin and Kristy from PR's! Losers....

So yeah we get there and Club Firestone isn't gritty and cave like, I've been all wrong about that place...the show, because it was a show was great!! For those that don't like live concerts its crucial that you listen to all the songs of the band you're going to go, when you know the words or at least know a little bit of the words makes a huge difference! That's all I'm saying.

Another thing I found out this weekend is that women are as crazy and evil as men are. There isn't a difference between what a man will do and what a women would do. You can't say that "a woman would never do that" because you know what, there's nothing that a women is incapable of doing! I'll leave it at that.

OH, i do give a freak about an Oxford Comma. I might of misued it in this post.

Private Blogs

In my honest opinion I think having a private blog is perhaps the dumbest thing I've ever heard of, you have a blog. What is a blog= A frequently updated journal or diary usually, often hosted by a third party. The last part is the most crucial part, often hosted by a third party. That means that its really not private if you're hosting on a free website like blogspot/blogger. SO who are you trying to fool?I mean if you really want to write secrets or shit that you don't want anyone to read about, write in your little diary and store it under your pillow. Anyways just a pet peeve.

To you..

No one knows where we’ll go from here
Could I kiss you or would that be weird
Are we sure or are we somewhere in between?
Do you wanna be free
That place where we'd be.., Cuz in our minds we need it
But I'd be no where near you and you'd be no where near me.
A Move to an unknown City
Will you let go of my hand?
Leave the things on the doorstep
Was there no way around it
Will this be our last dance?
Fall asleep with the music on mi amor
Be back again
Do you wanna see it?
Our place,
Cuz in my mind I’ve been there
And there’s no one there but you and me
In the morning I’ll find you again
Let the light shine the way
Down a road that’s leading me somewhere I've never known
And there’s no way around it
Will this be our last dance?
Fall asleep with the music mi amor
I'll Be there with you again.

Taking things for granted

So as I surveyed today's headlines I was reminded that a good day for me might mean a day from hell for someone else.
I wasn't able to celebrate with my Ma yesterday for the mere fact that with ever growing prices in fuel tickets to Grand Rapids are increasingly more expensive. Though according to a CNN article Americans are one among those who pay less for fuel than the rest of the world
Cheap Gas

I suppose that's a comforting notion if I weren't paying 40+ at the gas pump to just go to work every day! I mean literally don't drive anywhere that requires more than a hour drive. The lure of the open road, though very rare in Central Florida, is all but shot into a mist of evaporated gas fumes. I just can't justify driving for the sake of driving. I know there are other things that are more pressing than gas prices, like the democratic nomination, the increase of killer weather patterns-in the past week there have been epic killer cyclones, earthquakes, tornado's, and famine's just terrorizing the world. I mean its not hard to stop and listen to what is going on around you to realize that we're at a pivotal point in the planet's existence. I don't want to say that we're at a breaking point because I don't really know what that means in today's age but I feel like a wave of change is coming. This country is about to have either a woman running for president or a ex black Muslim. I would of never thought that would be possible, at least while I was still relatively young ( though I don't' think I'm young anymore! )

Anyways, Its hard to say that nothing happened this weekend when so much is happening to others..I suppose I take normalcy for granted..

Can't stop listening to this song!

So I was watching one of my guilty pleasures on monday night after a ho hum monday at work...anyways the typical whatever music was playing in the background but I have to say that I truly enjoy the music tags on the tops of the screen because I was able to find this band and there awesome song in a breeze!! The band's name is Carolina liar and the song is called I'm Not Over. I love it..so yeah..that's what I'm doing right now at work...besides taking some skill set courses..

I'm not Over

200th post

So yeah, this marks my 200th post on this particular blog, though I've posted well over 1000 entries in random blogs I've set up through out WWW. Today, of all days is Earth Day! I'm excited to learn more about how our fellow man and woman strive to make others aware that there might be a 6 billion of us but there is only 1 earth! To be reminded of this is to be self aware of how utterly mortal we are. We awe ourselves with technological advances and scientific discoveries but we still have not over come the fact we're bound to this planet.
I believe that we are aware of ways to reduce our carbon footprints, that we're aware of being comfortable some times is really being lazy like driving our car to the store when its less than a mile away. How keeping our lights on all day or running the AC when its 70 degrees outside is just plain, wrong.
I'm talking to myself right now, because for as much as I want to be able to say that I'm on the right track of being a more earth conscience person I'm not. I forget to recycle, I drive to the store, and run a fan when maybe i shouldn't but I'm aware of it, are you?

I found a link that I want to share, its called Walking and it lets you put in your address to see how close things are to you that could free you from driving your car everywhere. Generally speaking if you score in the 90's you have no excuse to be using your car as much as you do. Granted there exceptions but I'm not here to judge.

I remember 10 yrs ago when Green was more of a radical movement then a responsibility. I wonder where 10 yrs from now will bring us. I hope mandatory isn't one of the description involved because that would mean that we're at the brink of no return.

brainstorming in the late morning

I don't know how it got away from me. I haven't really written anything about me in some time. I mean I've had some interesting stuff happen, or at least had a experience or two that was worth blogging about. Like just this past weekend this old Spanish man pointed out to me Saddam Hussein's son, apparently he works at a parking lot garage! Yeah, I mean he went on to say that although he looked spanish he indeed spoke no Spanish. I use to think that alot of people looked Spanish. I had a similar experience back in high school when i went up to band camp and one of the guys we were hangin with was Filipino but he looked like he was Spanish so I was like you speak Spanish and he was alike no man! I'm Filipino and I was like well you look like you're Spanish as if that was reason enough to say what I did. Sorry about that Mike D.

Moving on, I would like to post a little pic of my work area.. OK nevermind I guess I won't be posting a picture to this entry because I just got some weird error message or whatever. Gosh I feel bored just writing this...I think I would of clicked next by ....now..

Well the least I can do is tell you about this sweet website, www.mobile17.com. There is a way to add ring tone's to your multimedia phone by uploading your favorite music up to this site and they'll send it back to you in a converted format that you can then add a ring tone! OH yeah, its free! I feel like I've contributed to the greater good posting this..

So I'll end by writing a little poem.

What comes to mind when I think of thee, elusive slow hands
but I'm over it now like low places like home. That lonely track 11 ride back,
were only ashes are left to remember how I run from what really scares me.
I'm scared that I need love! But instead I settle for something less, like eating pumpkin soup what is a man to do? I weather on because I know Change is Gonna Come and The bleeding heart show that is my life will See you again.
Perhaps in NYC where Ballads of a Paralysed Citizen ring true.
As time goes by The more I see you with Yoshimi Battle the pink robot I feel like Hayling.
So with that I say Goodnight and GO.


( I wrote a poem from the song titles on my Itunes party shuffle, I just kept on pressing next till i couldn't write anymore...and I didn't skip any titles hence the Yoshimi Battle the Pink Robot reference!)

Thank Goodness its Thursday!

Gosh,,,

I have nothing to talk...I mean seriously I have nothing to say. I ate Vegan food this past weekend and it allowed to leave a uncomfortable situation. You know its interesting but I never feel that comfortable among people that don't get my humor, like I know there's nothing wrong with me so it just makes me weary to think that there are people out there that don't laugh at things that are funny. Also I'm coming to find out that I'm Intimidated by large number of women gathering around each other like bees at the local bee hive... bzzzz, so,bzzzz,how's Rick's new job,bzzz,oh my gosh,bzzzz,looks who's here,bzzz,who invited him,bzzzzz,...yeah no thanks. I know why I left, the need to be fake was trumped by the fact that I keeps it real. I think the more I try to be fake the more I realize how much I freaking hate ( I really wanted to swear) it. Some groups are never to be mixed. They're like oil and water, sure you can add some soap to dilute what made them be oil and water but at the end of the night, baby, we still don't mix.

I don't know, I just feel really uneasy lately, like I'm missing something really big...ok, I check the lotto numbers so I don't have to worry about that.

On a lighter note, I went to the Birds of Prey locale to check out some birds of prey, apparently they thought it was funny to have a caracara named Lester that was Mexican. Bitches I'm not Mexican. I'm not even really Honduran, I'm as much of a American as the next guy, Its sad, I know I wish I was French so at least my appreciation for poppy music could be explained.

Oh look its 3, gotta run.

till next time.

Montreal...

So I'm heading up to Montreal next week. I have to say that I'm excited to see North America's answer to European city life. What if I like Montreal so much that I want to come back and live there! oui,oui! I have to learn some phrases so I can practice with random people I plan on. Case in point:

Excusez-moi, je ne peux m'empêcher de remarquer que vous ne vous rasez les aisselles aujourd'hui? Pardon me, I couldn't help but noticed you didn't shave your armpits today!

Pourquoi oui, je profiter d'un bon morceau de viande savoureuse cheval de temps en temps. Why yes, I do enjoy a good piece of tasty horse meat from time to time.

or my favorite.

Je n'étais pas d'accord lorsque le mot français est tombé de pain grillé, et je n'ai pas envie de frites ou français. Mais je ne jouissent d'un bon film de temps en temps suivi par un expresso et une grande conversation.

anyways, hopefully the border patrol won't give me Merde because I've been in Canada with two weeks of my last visit.

Adieu, n'oubliez pas de transformer ces horloges une heure par tête le samedi soir. Je déteste avoir à vous manquez une délicieuse rencontre avec un être aimé!

I've been away for a while..

Ok, not really the fact is that I've been busy at work and that's when I usually blog but It feels like I'm getting paid to do it but I'm really not. So what has been going on? I was up to Toronto for my birthday recently and I was freezing my bum bum because this Texan Boy, Turned Michigan Guy, and now Florida Man has had his blood thinned just like his hair. I bought a coat and left up there for my future trips, which is actually next week. Holly and I are taking a vacation together like real adults even though the rents are annoyed, which I mean I get but we're not little kids, So perhaps some perspective is needed. Anyways, we're heading to Montreal and Quebec City; I don't know if my rambling french will be sufficient since I really don't know how to formulate a sentence and Holly knows no French! Ha ha, it should be fun. In other news, Holly was recently presented with keys to her new Townhouse, I was able to see it this last time up there. Its really cute, I'm sure she'll have it looking great! Which makes me think that I'm ready to not have anymore roommates. What else, I feel like I've been in a black hole where no news comes in or out! I mean things are looking good right now and that's really important. I'm starting to feel some clarity and peace of mind which hasn't been the case for a while, If i could only get to the gym so I can get the body part down!

OH, I have some video clips of holly sledding and eating it, they're pretty funny..even with my horrible commentary! I'll post soon.

Well this was a bit of a dull blog but I've got some ideas that I'd like to share with you but baby steps first..baby steps..

Peace out (said in a manly ghetto voice)
:)

You are...Love.

I have a couple of words to describe what you are....but I found some that would do just as well....

........You feed other people's parking meters

You encourage the eating of ice cream

You would somersault in sand with me

You talk to loners, you ask how's your week

You give love to all and give love to me

You're obsessed with hiding the sticks and stones

When I fear the unknown You feel like home, you feel like home

You put my feet back on the ground

Did you know you brought me around

You were sweet, and you were sound

You saved me

You're the warmth in my summer breeze

You're the ivory to my ebony keys

You would share your last jelly bean

You would somersault in sand with me

You put my feet back on the ground

Did you know you brought me around

You were sweet and you were sound

You saved me

You put my feet back on the ground

Did you know you brought me around

You were sweet and you were sound

See I had shrunk yet still you wore me around

And 'round and 'round.....~Zero 7.

One in a while you find something really funny.

SO I was on someone's Myspace page and I clicked on this video of this cute girl who I thought would be singing a song, You know those youtube specials of someone covering a song!? I was way off, I think I found a kindred spirit!
Quarter Life

SO I think this girl might be out of her freaking mind, which sometimes I feel i get that rap too! I'm not saying that I want to meet this girl because chances are I'd hate her in person! Like you're funny but if you pull any of that funny stuff on me I'll send you to the moon kind of deals! You feel me?

But back to Sarah Hyland, she's a bit off and maybe downright crazy but if you have time and a sense of humor check her out..Funny Videos of Sarah

Its Christmas time

With only a couple of days left in the year its nice to be able to say that I've had a good year. Thank God for that, no more doubles so I can pay my rent. I'm thankful for the experiences that I've ventured and the clarity that I've gained from them. Its put things in perspective for me.

I know that 2008 will bring lots of change in my life and others as well.

If someone were to ask me what advice I could give to them in the coming year (though I know no one will) I would say "take time to enjoy the moment, because the journey isn't a good without the memory of it!"

Be it your first away from home, with a new love, or with a old love, or with family, I pray that all of you ( friends) have a great & safe wonderful holiday! I get to pick up my present tonight at the airport...I can't wait!

I can't stop...

oh man, It soo dead on..that guy freaks me out!

ONe more...

See canadian's are the source of entertainment, they just can't be as funny up in Canada when they're freezing!

I have to admit that i watch this show and its this dumb only Audrina's teeth are bigger. There so much bigger that the demand their own tv credit.

I just love how funny is soo in right now..I actually think it never went away, how many times have you heard someone say I'm so tired of laughing, I wish I would just cry more, I really need to cry more. Yeah if hear that just go ahead and punch them in the face for me!

Just stuff

Lots of messages going around this time of year..


I didn't know he could talk like that!


If you thought that was so so..I found these geeks in love with transformers, so much in love that they decided to build one!

More than the meets the I!

I took the Nerd Test too

But I forgot to post, apparently I am a nerd compared to everyone that took it, my score was 61! It said that I was a nerd but not on the lower level of nerdness. However as I was reading everyone's blog I noticed that my score was considerably higher than all of you!? I mean how is that possible? I can't be a nerd, right?

Gosh, I'm really just counting down the days till I can take a vacation!!! Two more weeks...just two more weeks.

So I'll guess I'll just go and look over some SQL and try to memorize PI, since I guess I'm a nerd.

A cool nerd!

Hit me! Hitman...

Argh..so yesterday I spent most of the time out my house watching TV that I really didn't want to watch, football, football, and a really bad movie. I think I was literally getting retarded as the minutes wore on from watching so much TV. I guess it didn't help that I watched perhaps the dumbest movie this holiday season. I won't even bore you with the snippets of the movie because you too might end up forgetting how to speak or spell. Anyways the holiday season is in full swing, people are out buying things they don't need and spending money they don't have. It hard to ignore the fact that we Americans live beyond our means, its what our economy strives on, Consumer confidence! I remember last year around this time where I was working doubles everyday to make ends meat. SO when everyone was enjoying there holiday I was at your local GAP yelling peace, love and would you like to open a GAP Credit card to save 20%!

So, with that in mind, this year spend less for those you love and spend more time loving them. Well unless they want a new Ipod Touch, then you're screwed.

I got an avatar

I had seen jess's avatar but i had never really thought of getting one until i accidently clicked on tucker's avatar and I was swept away. Its soo much fun to just make yourself or a crazy looking avatar! I couldn't find capri pants and a sleeve-less shirt but that's pretty close to how I would look to play tennis. So yeah..that was the highlight of the day..

cool!

Best wedding dance ever!

Best Wedding Dance Ever - Watch the best video clips here

Apparently Halo is coming to life!

See the video

Yeah it would seem that my entertainment is coming to a battlefield not near you? Its kind of scary! Don't you think?

I got this from Michele's blog..


Dear Sister

Ha ha..somehow this doesn't surprise me with all the slang and the improper use of comma's not to mention the bad grammar. Well, either way...who cares...

I guess someone finally noticed...

So now they're making money from my situation. I hate that I didn't come up with the idea, I mean its my thing, not that I want it to be my thing but it is. When people see me they ask me how's your situation, has it gotten better?? Seriously? Well apparently the girl wearing this shirt is all for it, she's thinking of all the nights she can go out with the girls and then call her man afterward to see if he had a miserable time being alone. Yeah, I got all that from this picture! Even the description of the shirt is catchy~


Because relationships are a marathon, not a sprint.

I just have one question..CTC!! ok..that's all CTC!

I love all sorts of gadgets, wickets, sprockets, and whatcha me call'ems! With that being said I just ordered my new phone and I can say that I'm really looking forward to wasting time on it. I actually got a sneak peak of it today at Circuit City during lunch and I was like a little kid in a candy store. No need to ask how much I had to pay, you can figure it out but hopefully I'll get it before thursday so I can play with it while I wait to in the horrible lines at the airport. I'm such a nerd when it comes to this stuff but don't hate.
On another note, I was with jessica on saturday when she went to IKEA, it was actually her idea to go! It was a unique experience, a layed out path of shopping geared to make you spend money! Great idea! I really want to get a tons of crap from there but since I don't think I'll be living in florida that much longer...i'll just hold off. AH look at the time 5p, its time for this guy to head on out...
one more gadget-
that's on my wishlist for christmas....

Rock out with your bangs out!

So, We've all had them at one time or another! But did we really ever thing that we'd go back to the bangs! I had bangs, they got in the way of seeing so I never really kept them when I got older. I kept on doing short hair cuts. The one regret I have in life is that I never grew out my hair as long as I possibly could of. I mean I think it would of looked crazy and people would of been afraid of me, ok, no I think I would of looked totally cool. So why am I talking about bangs? Well holly is thinking about getting them. She even sent me a picture so I'm posting it here because I need something to post..and because I think she looks good with her potential bangs..

So as you can see there's two sides to every story. Holly with bangs or holly with out bangs?

Bloc Party - So Here We are

I love this song..its an oldy but I just can't stop hitting repeat on my Ipod!

Mr Olympia 2006

How is that people's bodies can tranform into muscle robots? seriously, like they don't look human!!

Just a suggestion..

10 nightmarish handshakes to avoid.
To evade making a bad first impression, losing a business deal or simply embarrassing yourself, take heed of Holland and Brody's 10 terrible grips to avoid:

• The "macho cowboy"... is the almost bone-crunching clasp many businessmen use to shake hands. What are they trying to prove, anyway? There's no need to demonstrate your physical strength when shaking another person's hand.
  
• The wimp... is usually delivered by men who are afraid to "hurt the little lady" when shaking women's hands. Modern female professionals expect their male counterparts to convey the same respect they'd show their male colleagues.
  
• The "dead fish"... conveys no power. While there's no need to revert to the macho cowboy death grip, a firm clasp is more powerful than one that barely grabs the hand.
  
• The "four finger"... is when the person's hand never meets your palm, and instead clasps all four fingers, crushing them together.
  
• The cold and clammy... feels like you're shaking hands with a snake. Warm up your hand first before grabbing someone else's.
  
• The sweaty palm... is pretty self-explanatory, and pretty gross. Talcum powder to the rescue.
  
• The "I've got you covered" grip... happens when the other person covers your hand with his or her left hand as if your shake is secretive.
  
• The "I won't let go"... seems to go on for eternity because the other person won't drop his or her hand. After two or three pumps, it's time to let go. "It's a lot like a kiss -- you know when it's over," Brody says.
  
• The "southpaw"... happens when the person uses the left hand to shake because the right hand has food or a drink. Always carry your drink and plate with your left hand to keep your right one free for meet and greets.
  
• The "ringed torture"... occurs when the person's rings hurt your hand. Try to limit the number of rings you wear on the right hand to only one or two and be mindful of any that have large stones.
  

Three steps to a proper handshake

Some other things to keep in mind:
As you're approaching someone, extend your right arm when you're about three feet away. Slightly angle your arm across your chest, with your thumb pointing up.
Lock hands, thumb joint to thumb joint. Then, firmly clasp the other person's hand -- without any bone crushing or macho posturing.
Pump the other person's hand two to three times and let go.
Six tips to an effective meet 'n greet
Stand up.
Step or lean forward.
Make eye contact.
Have a pleasant or animated face.
Shake hands.
Greet the other person and repeat his or her name

Copyright CareerBuilder.com 2007. All rights reserved. The information contained in this article may not be published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority.

Really?

So apparently there's another movement in the blogging community...post a post everyday this month on your blog,nablopomo.
Which is an impressive feat in itself that something blog worthy can be written everyday. I hope everyone that is attempting this succeeds and doesn't burn out.

I got Will I. AM's new cd and I have to say its really good. Its poppy (that's so a old person saying) its not depressing at all and you can dance to it. Which I haven't really done in a while,that makes me sad!

I went to a concert last week and then it hit me, I'm old. I use to be the hipster, you know the one in with the end. Well I had two cases of being not cool and old. The concert was filled with teens who all had skinny jeans and odd hair styles and i had a tucked shirt. Needless to say I wasn't blending that well. However the most distrubing occurence was when I was hitting at the ball machine and I decided to stay and watch some guys play basketball. Apparently I wasn't cool enough or something because the buster on the side went over to this other buster and said something, which made him look back at me and laugh. If they only knew.....This stuff is cyclical, it will happen to you too! Ugh I'm depressed now.

Here's another picture of the Mute Math picture. Great concert but I really can't be standing for like 2 hours anymore and being rubbed up on by dudes, ladies...well thats another story. Oh before I go I had a off moment at the concert. This guy had to get by so I backed up against the rail that I was leaning on, you know the move. Well apparently this guy has never been to a concert because instead of giving me the cheek he gives me the front...think about it..yeah guys don't do that....wtf?

oh one more picture...from the concert last week...

>

Finally a post worth posting.

So I thought this weekend would be uneventful and to be honest it had been until I got a call around 10p from my little sis, Alex, many of you haven't met, her well if you have its not because I've introduced you to her. I'm sorta of guarded about my family, anyways, So we just started talking hey what's up. blah blah, when she tells me that she just got engaged!! I couldn't help but to cry, my baby sister was all grown up for realz. I couldn't be happier, its odd because its different when someone you've known your whole finds that person that they will start a new life with. I remember Titi always following me around and wearing my hand me downs, playing cops and robbers. I have pics but obviously not here.
Anyways so that's my little sis and her soon to be hubby, Noah. I've met him, he's a pretty nice guy, so I'm not sad about that just that I wasn't with my mom and GMa when she told them. I was all the way down here doing crap and having a drink, really lame man, really lame. Anyways I'm really happy for this addition to my special little family. signing off from Otown this is les, a happy older bro saying goodnight.

Day Man from Sunny

hahahahahahah

Night Man

I can't watch this without laughing so hard that I Cry!!

Fall:the last real season..

Being in the sunny but also always wet state of Florida I'm exposed to perhaps the most amazing weather year long. Granted I would trade my summers since its like a baking oven around here in July. However the one thing I long for right about now is those colorful trips on 31 driving down to the beach. The leaves are all but bright red, orange, and brown up in the northern part of the country, sadly I just couldn't help but notice that I still miss that time of year. I think i might write about this every year around this time, I guess you can't take the fall out of me. I snicker at the thought of Floridians grabbing their jackets when it gets below 70, I would laugh aloud if I weren't one of them now. I think of the countless times I swore off racking leaves which is ironic because I would want nothing more to jump into a big pile of leaves and be buried underneath the crisp brown remains of what once was so full of green leafy life. A bit much,perhaps but all of you up north take that for granted like I take the sunny days for granted. Anyways, I need to get to bed. Its late and I haven't got all night to dream.

Things of Interest

• Why is it so hard to say what's new when people ask you but when no one is asking you have all this stuff going on?
• Tim @ Smokey Bone's let me leave without paying my bill and had faith in me to call back to pay my bill. Background- I forgot my wallet at work so when I ordered my food I had no way of paying for it! I felt embarrassed but he was like "its all, good finish your meal and call it in when you get to work!" I left him a nice tip!
  
• It's always sunny in Philadelphia could be the gem of FX-TV. Though i think I could make a similar TV show with 4 Mexicans that would be funnier, in Spanish!
• There isn't anything better than a good song to fall asleep to.
  
• People that pretend to be hard don't scare me, its the quiet one's that terrify me.
  
• What the hell is O.J thinking? Don't come back to Florida, nothing good can come from it!
• I found out another reason why sports are awesome, you can argue about shit even when you're not playing the sport.
  
• I'm going to enter my t-shirt idea to threadless, I'm convinced that I can have a t-shirt made with my little saying.
• I sometimes will spend hours doodling, I'm 28 and I doodle!
  
• I really don't like blonde's! Really....
• The other day I thought what it would be like to be white...no thanks.
• Finally, the juicy stuff. I officially lost it on Sunday playing tennis. In the midst of being totally frustrated and irritated I launched my tennis racquet out of the tennis court 100 ft away on the roof of the clubhouse. Yes, the roof. I was in disbelief and I started to laugh. I had to scale a fence, which by way the left nice cuts on my hands and then climbed on to the roof of the clubhouse. Then I jump off the roof( probably 15ft and landed flat on my ass to which i rolled out. Gosh..That was so much work!
  

Lates

L3S

10 yrs Ago?

What’s the deal with Hush puppies; no I don’t mean the afford ably priced shoes but the balls of mush that you get whenever you get lost and end up at Long John’s Silver! I think for the most part that might be the most disgusting fast food chain of all the chains, the despair in the workers eyes is as if they’re being forced to work there. Why would I bring this up, well I was there today! I ventured into one of those combo tacobell/LJS to see if by any chance this had gotten better. They have, the place was clean, and the workers seem to be genuinely happy to see me. One of them asked how my food was. When does that ever happen at Taco bell or LJS? Probably never, so I sat there eating my plank and fish with a side of deep fried sprinkles of batter, I came to realize that Hush Puppies aren’t really given to us to eat but to play with. I mean who in their right mind would put those balls in their mouth?? I never hear of anyone saying can I please have extra hush puppies on the side, please! My sister use to only want to eat hush puppies but then again Alex was the only child I know that didn’t brush her teeth for 5 yrs! (Ages 1-5 perhaps it wasn’t that long but I never saw here use a tooth brush when she was baby!)

Its funny how things we use to do brought us joy fail to do so later on in life! I use to love being by myself for a long period of time. I use to think that I was cool when I ate dinner by myself at restaurant, like I was really important or something! Yeah I don’t like eating by myself anymore and I certainly don’t like being alone for a long period of time unless I’m avoiding people then its more of a necessity thing. This brings me to my most pressing matter, my high school reunion! Oh good Lord it’s been 10 yrs since I last walked the halls of Grand Rapids Christian High. I don’t know if I can go back there, don’t get me wrong I wasn’t a loser or anything like that but I don’t know if I would put myself through that situation willingly. A room full of Midwest Dutch Christian Reform adults! My eyes would only reveal true plangent instead of my occasional impassible self. There are only a few people I’d like to see, which ironically I did see when my sister graduated in 2002. I saw her, the girl I had an incredible crush on all junior year and senior year. Ashley H (I wish I could find a picture to show you), she was this cute brunette with short hair and a quiet way about her. I never really talked to her because a) she was really cute b) and she had a boyfriend (who happened to look like a Brad Pitt when he was in legend of the falls!) Anyways I don’t know that I’d really care to see anyone or anyone would remember me since I was the guy that just tried to go un noticed while I was there. I’m sure I could mingle and recognize some old faces but I don’t think I have the stomach or patience to hear how people have been these past 10yrs when I didn’t really care what they were doing that day while I was there, to do that I’d have to cozen them about how happy I was to be there and I’m to nice to do that

Scary Movies

I had this post already launched about how the hills have eyes 2 was horrible but then I read it and I said to myself this is the worst thing I've written ever, even more so then that one time I let people know about my secret blog I was writing about someone that we will not mention their name. Speaking of, I think that person is very sneaky or mean spirited in that she told me not too long ago how much she disliked a certain someone and she made it clear that she wanted me to know that. But the person she didn't like just had a birthday and she posted a happy birthday wish on this person myspace!! WTF? anyways the US OPEN starts this week!!! AH I love tennis!

To Megan

I don't know who you are but in response to your comment, There is no racial badgering in my post. I was merely describing the situation. The whole post has no mere relevance, this blog has no relevance. I think many times we get caught up in being politically correct when we should be candid and quite blatantly honest when talking about things. I'll ask you the question that perhaps you should ask yourself,

If I hadn't mentioned who was in car, who would have you imagined driving the car?

http://www.wftv.com/news/13898440/detail.html

Very odd morning

I was on my way to work this morning and I saw a cop drop his little ticket binder in the middle of the road. He threw on his flashing lights and stopped traffic to collect them and the he peeled out. I thought that was funny. About 5 minutes later I was about to turn onto the highway when out of now where this car is rushing by me with the two black guys and they're being followed by i think 7 cops. There was a motorcycle cop and like 6 cars, IT was a freaking car chase and it was awesome!! Then it all of sudden it seemed like all the cops in Altamonte were flooding the highway! Needless to say that was the highlight of the day.

Never under-estimate the power of the ego!

This shirt was given to me by the Fuste's and holly said that I would never fit into to it. She was partly right since its from Thailand and apparently broad shoulders were not thought of when they constructed the shirt. Anyways this is me gloating at the fact that I fit in the shirt. OK actually I look high or something?

Anyways Holly found a new artist and I'm totally downloading all his boot leg music to my delight. Thank you Limewire. His name is, if you're wondering and I know you are!, Jay Brannan. I would suggest listening to Soda Shop. Those that have money to burn can go to Itunes to get his tracks but if you're like me and you feel music should be free, well you might endure some long downloading time but its worth the wait
.
powered by ODEO

So yeah I guess I just saved you the trouble by doing that....anyways

I stayed up to write something so I should write it....

" Can't stop running, my lungs are burning, they're burning for air.

I keep on looking but I'm looking for something that isn't there.

I'm hot when I should be cold, I'm sweating when I should be dry.

My timing couldn't be worse, I have this yearning, its more like a thirst, a thirst that has no quench and

I've ended up taking a w/o end. There's a cliff on both sides and the only way off is to jump.

I hope I grow wings."

Whats on my mind...

I know its just smile, a little smile that I get caught up on

its got me thinkin about you and It just won't stop.

I hear you say you're usually shy and how you don't do this

but why is my name still fresh on your mind and my number on your phone?

Wish I could run into you for the first time over and over, you tend to leave a good

impression, a lovely after thought and the answer to my question.. You're absolutely stunning

and I can't stop staring, my heart keeps beating yelling, saying, and daring me to get your attention

to alleviate this pressure this tension of me wanting to tell you that I can't stop smiling every time you show me some affection .

Like a movie ending or even a fairy tale everything seems to be in the right place, you got that look that I've been looking for, got me questioning if I ever knew you before

your perfect smile and those bright eyes keep me going on strong till we meet again. Wish you'd

dial my number more often, instead of hesitating on pushing that send button.

You got me buzzin with that shot of you,in my system quit playing games with my mind

taking up all my thoughts and wasting my time just thinking bout you.

tired of being so distant, so far away from you, maybe someday, someway, somehow, sometime I'll find a way to back to you.

Its gets harder to say goodbye when I'm just thinking about How I just said hi

You gotta know I'm gonna catch up to you, its only a matter of time till we're together

Going insane from our short time get togethers, can't get enough, can you hear me sigh?

No more good-byes and no more long nights, just you and me how its suppose to be.

Independence

Today is Canada Day! yea I know what you're thinking- what does that actually mean to you and me! Well there's no real reason for us to be celebrate it but I feel that there's other holidays that i could probably do without. For instance what is president's day? Like what really happened on that day that makes all the banks and postal offices clothes. I mean for all meaningful purposes I just thought that the rest of the US stop doing anything major on my birthday! yeah it usually falls on President day. So anyways as of late I've been really getting back to to Music that has some lyrical depth to it.I know i'm jumping to another subject with out an lead in but I mean you've read this far and I still haven't mentioned the title of the entry, just like a good movie, I'll keep that till the most important part of this otherwise meaningless jargon of crap. I feel like I haven't really talked about anything meaningful on this damn thing. I mean the thing that usually gets me going is the lack of anything going but I can't really say that right now. I once made the mistake of opening up and expressing what I really felt and I got a couple of comments from people that I had never met or heard of which scared the crap out of me.

Which made me think, I only really write truthfully how I feel when I'm hurt or in totally depressed. But for the most part I'm so content that I'm just like whatever and this leads me to try to create some kind of drama for myself to keep myself for drowning in the boredom of life. Like I meet people that our genuinely happy to be around other people and I wonder why they do it, I mean I do it ( be around people) for the chance that they'll say something funny or a the chance of making a connection but for the most part I find most people are the same. They're insecure about something that they work really hard mask by doing or being something they're not...sometimes you meet people that have that Independence from the social term or idea of being cool. I find it refreshing to meet perfectly and totally insane people, I keep telling myself that I need to stop talking to these kinds of individuals but its like a car wreck, I can't keep away.