Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I 'm sorry I'm not able to understand you?

I sometimes wonder what other people do, not the 88.9% of people that work a 8-5 or whatever your hours might be, at 12:24am on a Wednesday morning? I myself, find that blogging is a good way to pass a couple of minutes that I otherwise would be sleeping. Granted, a lot of this has to do that I chose to leave my job because I hated it and my education, that I'm still paying for and will for the next 20 yrs has not produced a job that bring me the means of paying for this over priced Christian education. If you're quick you can sense the frustration that I am going through. Someone said to me the other day how lucky I was?? I don't know why, I don't feel lucky. I've gotten the short end of the stick for most of my life. Everyone can say that I'm sure but I can't verify your stories and experiences, I can only validate mine. I won't take time to tell you my quarrels or plight, that's not really why I'm venting at 12:28am. I would just like to have my thoughts be known, sometimes you don't want people to know what you're thinking and sometimes you do, right now is that time! I think I'm coming to the conclusion that life has some part that involves kissing some ass, I however have not found that happy medium. I don't know if I sometimes wish I could just start over or just have it end.. no I'm not suicidal. Just a little bit tired of dealing with the lack luster outcomes of my fruits of work/efforts. This has nothing to do with work, I don't know anyone that is making a difference in other people's life that it has changed the way they live their own lives, in others when I say that I'm really looking to see what I want to do in my life that doesn't just mean where do I want to work,live, and play. I'm really thinking about whether my life is going towards a path of purpose, mission, or making a difference. I don't know what or how to do that yet but i hope to find out soon.

1 comment:

trisha said...

here, here to finding that ever elusive purpose.. and not just the job i like and can do for 8+ hours a day and make an agreeable, sometimes more than that, wage for half my waking hours..