Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Making the Grade..

As I'm drifting off into lala land, I start to remember how I would block off four years to really grade my success in something. Kinda like being a silly freshman to a more put together senior. Long after I left school I was still doing this, my career, my love life, my personal growth. I don't know if this was the best way of going about things but I felt that my first year I was really just trying to make sense of what was going on, by the second and third year I was able to understand and predict, leaving the fourth year for me to make a concise decision.
Thinking back now It seems really foolish to think like this. I stayed with some things longer than I should of because I hoped it would get better. It would but it would creep back to where it was before.

Funny, every new step in life is like being a freshman all over again. Unsure, nervous, wanting to make an impression, ultimately hoping for the best and fearing the worst. Well not exactly but I think you know what I mean. I've transitioned in a way that I don't think I would of ever imagined. Looking at it in a larger spectrum its conventional but also very outside my norm. To be honest I miss the build up, the uncertainty of the outcome, sure I'm aware of the possibilities but I think I can accept them now as opposed to earlier where I could only see one way,one outcome, the one I wanted.

I introduced Jay Brannan probably 2yrs ago on here. He's done some familiar covers to some mid 90's songs that many of you might recognize.

Jay Brannan

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