Thursday, January 29, 2009

Its been a little while..

What's that saying, A picture is worth a thousand words! Hmm, there's a mouthful of truth to that. I for one find that not all pictures tell you the same thing, if you know someone for instance, you know that look that person gives when they're utterly happy or sad. There's an acknowledgement of what the person might be feeling. I wonder what my picture would tell you. I know what I'm feeling at this very moment and its not ineffable, I could divulge but at the sake of just letting go of the whole damn experience I'll keep it to myself. I will say this, just because there is a picture with people smiling it doesn't equate to someone seeing that picture also smiling.

Hmmm, there were remnants of the past in that much as I want to put that shit behind me, when it creeps up I still feel absolutely sick about it. Its soo true that you might forgive but you'll never be honest with you I would rather never forgive and just forget it all together.

If anything, I need to experience catharsis. For some time I was driven by visceral notions.
Now, I have indignation and I'm struggling with it because its antipodean of what I felt for this person. Years of desire,enthusiasm, and respect. I now have none for her, it makes me sad. The part that I strived for is transient, what remains is the last impression.

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