This is what happens when I go home

As many of you know I can be very emotional when I play video games,sports, or whenever. Well Alex is the same way..

So it was kinda funny when my mom had this gem of advice when me and alex were playing Bond on the Gamecube. As you can see we're engrossed in killing each other and my mom is reminding us that perhaps its the game that is causing such a hostile reaction.

in my head..

You left in my car where you were holding my hand,

you're were traveling with me with broken promises and backup plans.

I've been innocently stumbling and you've been taking full advantage, how could you?

Please don't say its true.

Now I've lost a friend and in my head all things are silent again.

Can't remember our last kiss and it was done out of pity!

I need more than giving moments and reminincing stories and words only spoken out of guilt

You didn't win my heart that way.

It feels..it feels like none of this is real

I pretend that my heart and head are well

then the blood starts pumping through my veins and freezes like a river in Toronto, well I'd be pleased If I could hear you say that I made you feel warm,

that I can make you feel warm again.

Weekends

I became some sort of a hermit this past weekend. I might of left my house a couple of times to go outside and feel the warm sun on my amber skin. I sometimes think about how many times I actually talk to people during the day, like a conversation that doesn't contain things that aren't work,movie,music, or weather related. Its kinda a low number if I must be honest. Anyways that was just random, I watched tons of movies over the weekend thanks to the new Redbox down the road. I came across this singer, Teddy Thompson. I know that for all those of you who have seen Brokeback Mountain he's a familiar voice but since I haven't seen it this was like a new little musical present. My favorite song is "Separate Ways".

In other news I'm giving up Beer for good. This weekend reminded me why I can't drink it, apparently my body has sensitive balance in which Beer doesn't not fit in any matter of way. Its not even like I binged on beer, It was a pint or two and my nights were jacked up with heart burn. I'll see how I long I can do it for. Last of all I spoke with mi Mama this weekend for mother's day. She was chillin with my sis and brother-in-law. I keep on missing out on stuff because I live all the way down here...I think I might of mentioned it over the weekend but my time here is coming to an end( not here like being alive but the Southeast) I think I need to find a way to get back up north.

This is like a runaway blog..I found this tag at a Marshall's over the weekend. I just like it because it has Les in it...I think he was trying to spell Please?!

Oh my..

I just read what I wrote a couple of days ago...its not good to have that much emotion towards something that shouldn't matter. Well at least it was in the privacy of the internet, right. I've been having a running discussion with the girl I'm seeing right now about my friends. We have a difference of opinions on the matter (I'm right and she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about!) I'm having this kind of inclination that I need to get up and get the hell out of dodge. Maybe go work over seas like my friend Andrew, well the only difference is that I don't think he's ever coming back stateside to live. I've been kinda moping around this week. I talk to my friend about what his GF said about me and I let him that she hasn't been receptive or even cordial with me for me to even approach her to gesture an acknowlegement...anyways we got it straightened out.

I realized that I didn't even celebrate Cinco de Mayo, geez..
I need a pick me up.

I can't believe I'm missing my family reunion.!!

Too much inner dating can be bad for your social health.

I don't know but it seems like the pool of women that are available to date has dwindle to a mere few that haven't dated a friend of a friend or something like that. This weekend was a good example of that. Someone I dated 3 yrs ago is now dating a friend of mine...it ended in a bad way and she had a reason to not like me or be mad at me but its been 3 yrs and she's dated someone the whole time during that. I was the best man at this wedding, she really shouldn't of been there not because of me but for the mere fact that she's a two faced judgemental bitch. I didn't acknowledge her the whole day because I have nothing to say to her, we would talk online and then she blocked me, every time she has a opportunity she brings up old shit or says bad things about me. So how am I the asshole for not saying a damn thing to a person that bad mouths me? The fact that my buddy asked me if I would be uncomfortable with her coming and I said no because I don't want it to be about me and her should show some fucking maturity. I'm not fake, so there is no sense in going through a charade. I kinda reacted in a very explosive manner but its just a summation of things that I've had to deal with, its just gets to be too much. You don't want me to talk to you but then you do? WTF?